Girl, Your Fetus is Smokin'!!
If you truly know me, then you know that I love Wham, bacon cheeseburgers, and making fun of TMZ.com. It's the worst celebrity gossip page on the planet, besides BrentIndeed.com.
I feel that - as shitty as they usually are - they've really topped themselves this week. They had their crack team of photoshoppers (poorly) generate images of what they think Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Suri Cruise will look like when they're 18 years old and then posted a poll box as to which infant YOU think will be hotter when they grow up. I only wish they would have taken it one step further by giving us their estimated cup sizes, and how many mojitos it will take to get them to give a lap dance to a sweaty, balding 45 year old Wilmer Valderrama on the promise that he'll get them a walk-on role of the 4th wave revival of "That 70's Show - The Musical!" starring himself and Tommy Chong's corpse.
What's next? Are we going to start stealing sonogram photos of celebrity babies and studying them for "future hotness", or should we just start harvesting the egg and sperm from the celebrity couple before they even do it so we can make sure only the best looking sperm make it through that troublesome ovum membrane? Even better - let's forbid celebrities from even dating each other unless they're genetically predisposed to deliver spawn with high cheekbones and a bitchin' rack. Any dissenters will be forced to get a man-boob face scrubbin' by John Travolta, or be forced to listen to Val Kilmer talk about how the spirit of Jim Morrison has inhabited his body since the first day of filming on Oliver Stone's "The Doors".
Believe it or not, the man-boob face scrubbin' is the lesser punishment.
Maggie
I feel that - as shitty as they usually are - they've really topped themselves this week. They had their crack team of photoshoppers (poorly) generate images of what they think Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Suri Cruise will look like when they're 18 years old and then posted a poll box as to which infant YOU think will be hotter when they grow up. I only wish they would have taken it one step further by giving us their estimated cup sizes, and how many mojitos it will take to get them to give a lap dance to a sweaty, balding 45 year old Wilmer Valderrama on the promise that he'll get them a walk-on role of the 4th wave revival of "That 70's Show - The Musical!" starring himself and Tommy Chong's corpse.
What's next? Are we going to start stealing sonogram photos of celebrity babies and studying them for "future hotness", or should we just start harvesting the egg and sperm from the celebrity couple before they even do it so we can make sure only the best looking sperm make it through that troublesome ovum membrane? Even better - let's forbid celebrities from even dating each other unless they're genetically predisposed to deliver spawn with high cheekbones and a bitchin' rack. Any dissenters will be forced to get a man-boob face scrubbin' by John Travolta, or be forced to listen to Val Kilmer talk about how the spirit of Jim Morrison has inhabited his body since the first day of filming on Oliver Stone's "The Doors".
Believe it or not, the man-boob face scrubbin' is the lesser punishment.
Maggie
posted by the freakin hott at Sunday, September 10, 2006
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