Your Mom is STACKED!

I realize I was supposed to write about Kevin Federline's "performance" on the Teen Choice Awards, but what more can you say than, "Wow. What a shit-fest."

Moving on, Britney Spears proudly introduced his performance while apparently carrying two gigantic melons that were pushed up under her chin. I know the first thing I want to be able to say about a pregnant woman is, "Would you check out the gazongas on that mom!". I'm not saying she has to dress like a pilgrim, but I think there should be a five inches of cleavage limit once you're 34 weeks along or so.

I only wish I could meet this child a couple of decades from now to tell him how bitchin' his mom's rack was when she was knocked up with him because, seriously, who doesn't want to hear about their mother's luscious sweater puppies? I'd also let him know that he hasn't seen his father in ten years because he's probably doing time for running one of those Nigerian internet scams after his 12th self-financed album ends up in the dumpster after failing to make a splash on the dollar rack at Big Lots, but that's only because I believe in total honesty.

Maggie

Come see The Freakin' Hott this Friday at Brogue's in Lake Worth with Noble Rocket! No cover, strictly 21 and up, and get there at 10pm! We're going on first!