The Scratching Post of Skankdom

Well now this is FANTASTIC!

It's just been announced that the new CW Network has green-lighted a reality show to find the next skank/member of The Pussycat Dolls! Now I'm going to need all of your support if I want to stand a chance at making it through the auditions, so here's a list of things I'll need in order to "make it...holla"!

1. 380 cans of Slim Fast spiked with Ex-Lax
2. A full-frontal lobotomy
3. Much, much, much, much, much, much, much lower standards
4. An exercise book that shows how to swallow a whole zucchini
5. Fake scars from the surgical removal of what can best be described as a vestigial penis
6. A few episodes of "Dance Party USA" on VHS in order to learn those hot moves that "Princess" was doing all the time
7. A couple cases of those pantiliners for thongs
8. A mix tape containing the greatest hits of Expose', Trinere, SWV, Lisa Lisa and The Cult Jam, Wild Orchid, Jody Watley, and Paula Abdul during the "chunky" years.

Please send all of your donations to Hell. I'll be going there later to pick up a pair of leggings, a hip-widening tunic top, and some Sam Libby flats.

Maggie