The Worst Celebrity Story I've Heard All Year
TMZ is the worst celebrity website on the planet. If they get a video clip of Lindsay Lohan putting money in a parking meter, it's their top story for the day. In short, they blow, and this story is no exception:
Christina Trades Ring in Nipple for Ring on Finger
"Now that she's a married woman, pop diva Christina Aguilera has apparently completely freed herself of a ring in her right areola, according to photographic evidence painstakingly analyzed by Lloyd Grove this morning. Two years ago, Aguilera told the press that she'd ditched all of the metal gear that was impaling various parts of her anatomy, like her tongue, lip, and navel, but that the one in her right nipple was for her and was staying. But yesterday in Paris, says Grove, Aguilera was photographed in a sheer top, and there was no sign of the stud."
I'd like to meet this guy whose job is to "painstakingly" detect the existence of nipple rings on Christina Aguilera. What are his credentials? I don't want to seem like a Jealous Jilly here or anything, but I spent a good six years at Vassar getting my master's degree in Aguilera Nippleography, and I DEMAND to know why I wasn't called in on this one. It was bad enough that I got turned away from the "Lady Marmalade" video shoot because my labia weren't hanging out enough, but this is just a slap in the face. How far do you think you can push me? Do you want me to see Maggie on 10?! Because I don't think you want to see Maggie on 10!!!!!! The last person who saw Maggie on 10 was Chevy Chase when he called Maggie a "Low-Rent Ruth Buzzy", and you saw what happened to that motherf*cker!
Don't mess with me.
Maggie
Christina Trades Ring in Nipple for Ring on Finger
"Now that she's a married woman, pop diva Christina Aguilera has apparently completely freed herself of a ring in her right areola, according to photographic evidence painstakingly analyzed by Lloyd Grove this morning. Two years ago, Aguilera told the press that she'd ditched all of the metal gear that was impaling various parts of her anatomy, like her tongue, lip, and navel, but that the one in her right nipple was for her and was staying. But yesterday in Paris, says Grove, Aguilera was photographed in a sheer top, and there was no sign of the stud."
I'd like to meet this guy whose job is to "painstakingly" detect the existence of nipple rings on Christina Aguilera. What are his credentials? I don't want to seem like a Jealous Jilly here or anything, but I spent a good six years at Vassar getting my master's degree in Aguilera Nippleography, and I DEMAND to know why I wasn't called in on this one. It was bad enough that I got turned away from the "Lady Marmalade" video shoot because my labia weren't hanging out enough, but this is just a slap in the face. How far do you think you can push me? Do you want me to see Maggie on 10?! Because I don't think you want to see Maggie on 10!!!!!! The last person who saw Maggie on 10 was Chevy Chase when he called Maggie a "Low-Rent Ruth Buzzy", and you saw what happened to that motherf*cker!
Don't mess with me.
Maggie
posted by the freakin hott at Thursday, July 20, 2006
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