Your Mother is The Centerfold

In news that nobody cares about, Cindy Margolis - the famed "Most Downloaded Woman on The Planet" - has decided to pose for Playboy. At age 40, and a mother of three, Cindy had this to say about her decision to finally "bare it all".

"Thank goodness for 'Desperate Housewives.' You're not dead just because you are married and have children. Posing nude at the age of 40 is empowering. In the past it would have been for gratuitous reasons."

1. You can thank badness for Desperate Housewives. Goodness is sitting over there in the corner pretending it doesn't know you.

2. I was unaware that being married and having children means that you're effectively dead. Happy Birthday, kids!

3. To Cindy Margolis, "Dead" = "No Longer Wanking Material for Strange Men".

4. If posing nude at 40 is empowering, then I can't wait till she's 80, then it will be DOUBLE-empowering. At 160, she'll almost be a feminist!

5. I'm sure every guy with their wiener in the hand will find her "spread" to be non-gratuitous, respectable, and kind to animals. Oh, and sticky. Very, very sticky.

Kudos, Cindy. I'm sure you'll make your family proud.

Maggie

Go see John Ralston tonight at Respectables.

Go see The Freakin' Hott tomorrow night at Brogue's Pub.