The Good, The Bad, and The Formerly Obese
Ryan Seacrest. How can one man provide me with such an amazing plethora* of material? You're starting to rank right up there with Scott Stapp's alcoholic outbursts and Kevin Federline's penchant for sucking the proverbial universal wiener. I'm going to show you Ryan Seacrest's quote from People magazine, and then we'll discuss it:
"I was overweight," he confesses, "because I used to come home and eat a cookie sheet pan of nachos and watch OPRAH every day of my life." He then goes on to say that his classmates used to call him "Kubiak" after the character on "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" because of his weight problem.
Seriously? Where do I begin? The "Kubiak" thing is the obvious choice - mostly because I'm a hopeless Parker Lewis fan and I've kept a lock of Corin Nemec's hair taped to the inside of my training bra for the past fifteen years - but I think I have to go with the "Oprah" thing. I don't want to jump to any rash conclusions here, but I don't think I've ever met a thirteen year old boy in my entire life who was into watching Oprah after school.
Wait, I take that back. I forgot about that time when Rip Taylor and Charles Nelson Reilly found that time machine when they were thirteen and traveled to the future to watch Oprah. I stand corrected.
*Like you, I learned about the word "plethora" from El Guapo in "Three Amigos". I am not ashamed.
Maggie
No shows for us this weekend, so do yourself a favor and go to DaDa on Saturday and see The Fabulous Dik Shuttle Lounge at Popscene. No cover!
"I was overweight," he confesses, "because I used to come home and eat a cookie sheet pan of nachos and watch OPRAH every day of my life." He then goes on to say that his classmates used to call him "Kubiak" after the character on "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" because of his weight problem.
Seriously? Where do I begin? The "Kubiak" thing is the obvious choice - mostly because I'm a hopeless Parker Lewis fan and I've kept a lock of Corin Nemec's hair taped to the inside of my training bra for the past fifteen years - but I think I have to go with the "Oprah" thing. I don't want to jump to any rash conclusions here, but I don't think I've ever met a thirteen year old boy in my entire life who was into watching Oprah after school.
Wait, I take that back. I forgot about that time when Rip Taylor and Charles Nelson Reilly found that time machine when they were thirteen and traveled to the future to watch Oprah. I stand corrected.
*Like you, I learned about the word "plethora" from El Guapo in "Three Amigos". I am not ashamed.
Maggie
No shows for us this weekend, so do yourself a favor and go to DaDa on Saturday and see The Fabulous Dik Shuttle Lounge at Popscene. No cover!
posted by the freakin hott at Friday, April 14, 2006
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