Wild Sitcoms Couldn't Drag Me Away
Sure, I'm somewhat of a rock 'n roll purist - some might even say a snob. I believe in leather pants, tantrums, and ridiculous backstage demands. If I wanted a rock star to behave like my grandma, I'd probably be a Rob Thomas fan, but that's not the case. And I'm proud. I'm proud that I demand more from my rock stars than humility and good manners. That is why this particular news bothers me so much.
Obviously, The Rolling Stones have become somewhat of a senior citizen punchline these days, but I give them credit for continuing to draw millions of fans on tour every year, and still managing to knock up the occasional 23 year old Brazilian supermodel along the way. This is the reason we all got into music to begin with, no? Art schmart. We all do it for the chicks, our egos, the money, or because daddy didn't love us enough.
So, Mick Jagger is signing a deal to appear in a new ABC sitcom about a group of guys who plan to rob a celebrity. (Mick is the celebrity.) As if this weren't bad enough, the only reason Mick is slated to do this SITCOM, is because JEFF GOLDBLUM turned it down. That's right - irritating, obnoxious, painfully unwatchable, douchebag-extraordinaire Jeff Goldblum. A lot of people say, "Why do you hate Jeff Goldblum with such a passion?"
I will tell you why: Because watching him attempting to explain Chaos Theory in Jurassic Park made me want to rip my own eyeballs out, eat them, vomit them back up, and return them to my eye sockets where the caustic hydrochloric acid from my stomach would burn through my optic nerves and into my brain which would render me as useless a human being as, well, Jeff Goldblum.
I hate Jeff Goldblum. Learn to live with it.
Maggie
Brogue's this Friday in Lake Worth. No cover, strictly 21 and up. Drop that zero and get yourself a hero.
Obviously, The Rolling Stones have become somewhat of a senior citizen punchline these days, but I give them credit for continuing to draw millions of fans on tour every year, and still managing to knock up the occasional 23 year old Brazilian supermodel along the way. This is the reason we all got into music to begin with, no? Art schmart. We all do it for the chicks, our egos, the money, or because daddy didn't love us enough.
So, Mick Jagger is signing a deal to appear in a new ABC sitcom about a group of guys who plan to rob a celebrity. (Mick is the celebrity.) As if this weren't bad enough, the only reason Mick is slated to do this SITCOM, is because JEFF GOLDBLUM turned it down. That's right - irritating, obnoxious, painfully unwatchable, douchebag-extraordinaire Jeff Goldblum. A lot of people say, "Why do you hate Jeff Goldblum with such a passion?"
I will tell you why: Because watching him attempting to explain Chaos Theory in Jurassic Park made me want to rip my own eyeballs out, eat them, vomit them back up, and return them to my eye sockets where the caustic hydrochloric acid from my stomach would burn through my optic nerves and into my brain which would render me as useless a human being as, well, Jeff Goldblum.
I hate Jeff Goldblum. Learn to live with it.
Maggie
Brogue's this Friday in Lake Worth. No cover, strictly 21 and up. Drop that zero and get yourself a hero.
posted by the freakin hott at Monday, April 24, 2006
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