Why You Hatin'?

There are occasions when the celebrity news is as boring as Matthew Perry's comeback, and this is when I find myself waxing philosophical about waxing. Today's celebrity news is eons away from that fluff, or lack thereof as the case may be.

Kevin Federline, after finally landing a record deal, has decided to NOT include his (ha-ha) hit "Popozao" on his new (ha-ha) record. Instead he is recording a duet with his wife and Vessel of Trailer Spawn, Britney Spears. I Googled the lyrics and, sadly, there were none to be found, so I had to settle for making up my own.

Britney:

Boy you done planted me with your seed twice
I put a do-rag on the fetus so it don't get lice
My fame is so old that it's covered in rust
But I'll take a lick just in case it's Cheetoh dust
Word
Uh Huh
Get Busy
Why you hatin'?

Kevin:

I love you Birtney
Do you love me
Cuz I put a new Ferrari on your Visa-Vee
I can give you things that money can't buy
(But that's mostly because I have no money)
Girl, you is FLY!
Gimme your heart and I'll give you my rhymes
You can polish my bishop while I polish yo' dimes
Word
Uh huh
Get Busy
Why you hatin'?

Britney:

I gave you two sons and you gave me the bills
I'll be taking TrimSpa if I can finance the pills
My bank done called and said I'm overdrawn
Cuz you been buying loops at K-mart like the day is long
Word
Uh huh
Get Busy
Why you hatin'?

Kevin:

I love you Birtney
Do you love me
I gots a George Foreman Grill off the QVC
You can give me things that money do buy
The total cost with shipping foty-fo' ninety-five
Gimme a million and I'll bring you the change
Gotta stop at CVS to buy some cream for this mange
Yo when did Neosporin cost a brotha ten grand
I guess the rest of your change musta fell out my hand
Word
Uh Huh
Get Busy
Why you hatin'?

Maggie