My Love Costs $13,280 Per Page

You know how some guys do really cheesy stuff to impress a woman and all the women around her go "Awwww. He is so SWEET!" when all they're really thinking is "How many hours of Lifetime has this asshole been watching? Does he know NOTHING about what women really want?". And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the guy who "surprises" his girlfriend by sending her a balloon bouquet at work that says "I Wuv You" and renting "The Notebook" and filling her bathtub with Hershey's Kisses along with a note that says "Now that I've showered you with kisses..." in the thinly-veiled hope that such behavior will be rewarded with some backdoor action or some such female-dreaded activity. Are you calling me cynical? I've been called worse. Moving on.

So Marc Anthony took out a $13,280 full-page ad in Variety Magazine to declare his love for Jennifer Lopez. AND it's laid out like an awards show script. Now, to me this screams "Sorry you walked in on me banging the housekeeper", but again, I'm somewhat cynical when it comes to cheesy romantic gestures. Judge for yourself.



Fade In:
Ext. Century Plaza - Los Angeles, CA - Evening
Int. Ballroom - Women in Film Presents The 2006 Crystal and Lucy Awards

Enter: The Most Beautiful Woman in the World
Jennifer Lopez glows as she glides across the stage to accept the Crystal Award

Cut to: Marc Anthony
Her proud husband sitting in the audience aware of how lucky he is to be with the love of his life and sharing in this moment.

Cut to: Jennifer at the podium as she shares a stolen moment with him.

Cut to: Marc Anthony (mouthing) "Here's to never waking up, baby. You deserve it. I love you.



Thoughts? Opinions? Am I way off-base here?

Maggie