Crotch of Fire

My glee is immeasurable right now, and it's all thanks to one word: Firecrotch.

Brandon Davis (son of a billionaire oil tycoon, defiler of starlets, asshole extraordinaire) drunkenly went off on a tangent about Lindsay Lohan's financial status AND genitalia ON VIDEO inside a nightclub in Hollywood, with Paris Hilton egging him on the whole time. This is the kind of thing that all quasi-celebrities SHOULD be doing, if for no other reason than that it gives me some fantastic quotes to pull. Here's a few of my favorites from the lips of this walking trouser snake:

On her financial status:

"I think she's worth about seven million (dollars), which means she's really poor. It's disgusting. She lives in a motel."

On her dating Wilmer Valderrama:

"Is he in a mariachi band?"

And, my favorite, on her genitalia:

"Lindsay Lohan is a firecrotch, she has freckles coming out of her vagina, and her clitoris is seven feet long."

You can't buy this kind of entertainment anymore. It's truly a gift.

Maggie

Poorhouse - Friday Night - The Freakin' Hott and Timb - 11pm - Be There.