Carrots Wait for No One

There are a lot of things I could say about this picture of Jessica Simpson. A LOT.



I could make mention of the fact that she looks like a bumpy Chick-o-Stick. I could note how ABSOLUTELY FREAKING WEIRD her boobs look. I could even say that in that particular get-up she was probably mistaken for a bottle of Fanta until a Fanta bottle became enchanted and jumped up and said, "You insult the integrity of Fanta with that statement." and then climbed some light-rigging and started firing a gun randomly into the crowd.

But as a mature lady, I am above that.

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YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE BEAT YOU WITH A PUMPKIN FULL OF AGENT ORANGE AND DIET SUNKIST, YOU MUTATED SPRAY-ON CARROT-FACED FREAK OF NATURE.

Sorry.

Maggie