The Prairie Skank Companion
Lindsay Lohan showed up with a cast on her foot a few nights ago at a press conference for her upcoming film "The Prairie Home Companion". And while she claims she received the hairline fracture in her foot by slipping on the floor when she got out of the shower, I think we all know that the real story must be more interesting than THAT:
1. She was sitting down to a dinner of two quick bursts of Pam non-stick cooking spray and read that it had carbs in it, had a panic attack, had sex with Brett Ratner to punish herself, and broke her foot under the weight of his ego.
2. She was trying to one-up Paris Hilton by fitting the entire right side of her own body into her vagina, and twisted her ankle on the dismount.
3. As a result of dating Jared Leto, she now has syphilis of the foot, or as it's known in Hollywood "JordanCatalanoIsAnAsshole-itis".
4. She's so skinny, she has to jump around in the shower to get wet. ZING! (Thanks, Slappy White.)
5. I totally kicked her narrow spotted ass after she called me "thick".
Maggie
1. She was sitting down to a dinner of two quick bursts of Pam non-stick cooking spray and read that it had carbs in it, had a panic attack, had sex with Brett Ratner to punish herself, and broke her foot under the weight of his ego.
2. She was trying to one-up Paris Hilton by fitting the entire right side of her own body into her vagina, and twisted her ankle on the dismount.
3. As a result of dating Jared Leto, she now has syphilis of the foot, or as it's known in Hollywood "JordanCatalanoIsAnAsshole-itis".
4. She's so skinny, she has to jump around in the shower to get wet. ZING! (Thanks, Slappy White.)
5. I totally kicked her narrow spotted ass after she called me "thick".
Maggie
posted by the freakin hott at Friday, May 05, 2006
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