You've Come A Long Way, Skanky

Jessica Simpson is teaming up with her hairstylist, Ken Paves, to launch a line of hair extensions!!!!! FINALLY - something she's actually qualified to talk about! Now she can give up that whole music/acting thing and the world can return to normal. If we can just get Lindsay Lohan to give up acting and singing in favor of vomiting, and get Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas to give up singing in favor of being an orange man with a bladder problem, then we'll be totally set.

By the way, I am SO totally buying those Jessica Simpson hair extensions. And the Jessica Simpson "Dessert" makeup and body care collection. And the Jessica Simpson clothing line. And the Jessica Simpson line of dog grooming supplies and accessories. And the Jessica Simpson line of arthritis medication. And the Jessica Simpson line of engine exhaust manifolds. And the Jessica Simpson line of weapons of mass destruction. And the Jessica Simpson line of fat-free non-stick cooking spray. And the Jessica Simpson line of scientific calculators and sliderules. And the Jessica Simpson line of sport fishing taxidermy supplies. And the Jessica Simpson line of kangaroo birthing helmets.

Maggie