Those Who Can't, Teach

Here. We. Go. Again.

Like it's not bad enough that every skank in town is wearing gauchos? In the past three days I have seen COLORED gauchos. Friday, it was a pair of pea soup green gauchos, and yesterday it was a pair of SALMON colored gauchos. I had to spend yet another night washing out my eyeballs, breathing into a paper bag, and wishing harm to the wholesale buyers at Marshall's.

MOVING ON.

Eva Longoria has told Allure Magazine that it was "love at first sight" with her NBA-star boyfriend Tony Parker. She also said that "he's only been with one other person in his life," and that she is the "teacher" in the duo.

Seriously. When are you celebrities going to learn? There is nothing worse than blabbing on and on about who you're getting it on with when you know damned well that the chance of a celebrity relationship lasting is about as good as me actually giving Rob Thomas's solo album a chance.

And I'm sure that the boyfriend loves having her tell the entire universe that she's only the second woman he's ever been with and that she has to be "the teacher". I'm sure that kind of information goes over really well in the NBA locker room. I hope she's "teaching" him how to cower naked in a corner while being snapped with wet towels and playing the role of the unwilling cracker in an NBA circle jerk. At least THAT would be useful.

Maggie

Hey - we're playing at The Poorhouse this Saturday, March 25th! No cover, 21 and up.