I Believe The Children Are Our Future

Holy Hilton, Skankman! Nicky and Paris Hilton are in talks to star in an animated cartoon series about their disgusting and depraved lives! I don't know why somebody didn't think of this sooner. I can't think of a better way to get through to that untapped pre-school/elementary school market. There are so many things the little ones could learn from the Hilton sisters! Like how to pick up the keys to your Bentley with your cooter. Or how to say "backdoor action" in Greek. Or how to eat a whole zucchini at once without chewing. Or my personal favorite, how to be famous for doing absolutely nothing but being two of the most revolting, disrespectful, untalented, useless human beings to ever walk the face of the earth!

And don't give Nicky a pass for that whole "fashion designer" thing. I was sticking gold stars to my Jordache purse in 8th grade, so she's not breaking any new ground there.

Maggie

Come see us at The Poorhouse tomorrow, March 25th, with The Livid Kittens and Psycho Daisies - we'll be going on last, so you'll have plenty of time to drink too much and humiliate yourself. No cover, strictly 21 and up.