Weapon of Mass Media Destruction

There's a poll this month in Stuff Magazine (I know, my favorite) that found that people would prefer to spend an evening in a tent with Saddam Hussein than with Tom Cruise. On that note, here is a list of other nouns I would prefer to spend an evening in a tent with than Tom Cruise:

1. A nude and aroused Dr. Ruth
2. Joan Crawford's 60 year old used maxi-pad
3. The corpse of Grover Cleveland
4. Clay Aiken's reclaimed personal lubricant
5. That flamer from The Groovenics (I know, which one?)
6. A life-size cardboard cutout out of Jon Basedow
7. Joseph Stalin's chamber pot
8. Ryan Seacrest's vagina
9. The toilet Elvis died on
10. Chef Boyardee's enema bag
11. Mickey Rourke's liposuctioned neck fat
12. Madonna's prostate
13. Various unidentifiable odors that live inside Star Jones
14. The ass-portion of Brent Indeed's underwear
15. A mouthful of James Brown
16. Donald Rumsfeld's judgement
17. William Shatner's ego
18. My own ego
19. Ralph Macchio's saliva
20. A bucket of pubic lice

Care to add any? I'm sure I forgot at least a couple of things.

Maggie