Seven Skanks for Seven Gauchos

I will admit it. I watch American Idol. Do YOU know why? I hope you can tell ME, because I sure as hell don't know. Now that we've got all that out in the open, I'll cut to the chase. Of the twelve female contestants that performed last week, SEVEN of them were wearing gauchos. That is not an exaggeration - Aaron and I kept count. I honestly couldn't tell you what any of them sounded like because I was so distracted by the screenful of gauzy, flappery ugliness, not to mention the oodles of potato ass. Did you know that there is actually a SECTION at Marshall's labeled "Gauchos"? Did you know that I actually found a one-piece sequined halter top gaucho OUTFIT on sale there? How long can this go on? How long??? And the flat shoes with the gauchos? That particular combination is useful if you're trying to pass yourself off as a horse, but who the hark wants to look like they're hauling grain to the market?

Speaking of flat shoes, I saw the most hideous pair of flats at Marshall's as well. Here's the checklist:

1. Really flat - no heel at ALL.

2. Purple. Not a nice purple, so don't jump all over me. We're talking Grimace Purple.

3. They were made of CROCHETED YARN.

4. They had an assortment of CROCHETED FRUITS dangling off the top of them.

5. I am not kidding.

I have to go clean my eyes now.

Maggie