Don'cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Disgusted Like Me?

I go to great lengths to keep you people informed, and today I reached the absolute bottom of the barrel, where I found myself flailing wildly about in a crock of Atrocious Whore Soup with a side of Skank Cornybread.

I went to The Pussycat Dolls' website. You know, the luvly gals that gave us the smash hit "Don'cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?"

I feel all icky and disgusting now, and I've already taken 328 showers in bleach since I looked at their site. Here's an excerpt from their "News" section, which we will all read to ourselves, and then discuss some key points aloud:

"Hey PCD fans, there’s a lot coming up! As you all know we are opening up for the Black Eyed Peas on their Honda Civic Tour. Our girls will also be appearing on an upcoming episode of the Freddie show. You will also be seeing the Dolls in an upcoming feature in Teen People magazine."

1. This Pussycat Dolls/Black Eyed Peas tour IS coming to south Florida in April. You might want to use that plastic sheeting and duct tape from a couple years back to make a safe room in your house. The Skank Terror Alert level will be raised to Mystic Tan Orange.

2. The Freddie Show - I didn't even know this show existed until last week when I saw a preview for it. Apparently it's been on for a year now, and is a sitcom that showcases the comedic genius that is Freddie Prinze Jr. I don't think any further comment is required.

3. I can't think of a better musical act (and I use the term "musical" REALLY loosely here) to grace the pages of Teen People Magazine than The Pussycat Dolls. Even more so than in times past, teenage girls need to look up to women that properly display the appropriate size for TOTALLY PORN-A-LICIOUS fake boobs, how to best match your sequined thong to your skin tone, and how to bind and gag self-worth and leave it hog-tied on a stripper pole like a pig on a spit.

Discuss.

Maggie