Girl, You'll Be In Porno....Soon
Former Madame to the itchy stars of the 80's Heidi Fleiss is making some "sexy" crap movie called "Beverly Hills Tutor" and Hillary Duff has decided that starring in this "film" will help to let everybody know that she's not a little girl anymore. I've probably covered this type of thing before, but humor me, people.
Why is it that when a girl/woman/whatever celebrity wants to "express herself" and "let everyone know she's all grown up" it never, ever means that she's going to take up humanitarian work, or politics, or even a freakin' ceramics class? It ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS means "I'm going to get naked and gyrate on film and probably do a sex scene with Kyle MacLachlan." Sure, I can see the line of thinking - it worked WONDERS for Elizabeth Berkley from Saved By The Bell. I'm sure she's polishing her Academy Awards for "Showgirls" as we speak.
Recall the smash Christina Aguilera hit "Dirrty" where she boxed a girl while wearing a wet t-shirt and chaps with panties while mud was splashed all over her, all the while proclaiming her feminist empowerment. I also remember the promotional campaign for the album being equally "empowering". Yes, Christina. Yes. Bending over in a thong on the pages of Maxim Blender IS empowering. To all of us. Especially to those who have a bottle of lotion handy and no date for Saturday night. If only you could find some self-worth implants to match your breasts, you pig. You want to know where the line is drawn between pathetic-exploitation and feminine-sexiness? I can tell you right now, it ain't up your butt crack, so stop sticking it in my face.
Thanks, gals. You make me embarrassed to be a woman. The next person who says "Girl Power!" is gonna get what-for.
Somebody put on some Sleater-Kinney for Maude's sake. I'm losing it here.
Sarge Marge
p.s. On an unrelated note, The Fabulous Dik Shuttle Lounge is the best band in south Florida. My compliments to The Big Bamboo. Luv you boys.
Why is it that when a girl/woman/whatever celebrity wants to "express herself" and "let everyone know she's all grown up" it never, ever means that she's going to take up humanitarian work, or politics, or even a freakin' ceramics class? It ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS means "I'm going to get naked and gyrate on film and probably do a sex scene with Kyle MacLachlan." Sure, I can see the line of thinking - it worked WONDERS for Elizabeth Berkley from Saved By The Bell. I'm sure she's polishing her Academy Awards for "Showgirls" as we speak.
Recall the smash Christina Aguilera hit "Dirrty" where she boxed a girl while wearing a wet t-shirt and chaps with panties while mud was splashed all over her, all the while proclaiming her feminist empowerment. I also remember the promotional campaign for the album being equally "empowering". Yes, Christina. Yes. Bending over in a thong on the pages of Maxim Blender IS empowering. To all of us. Especially to those who have a bottle of lotion handy and no date for Saturday night. If only you could find some self-worth implants to match your breasts, you pig. You want to know where the line is drawn between pathetic-exploitation and feminine-sexiness? I can tell you right now, it ain't up your butt crack, so stop sticking it in my face.
Thanks, gals. You make me embarrassed to be a woman. The next person who says "Girl Power!" is gonna get what-for.
Somebody put on some Sleater-Kinney for Maude's sake. I'm losing it here.
Sarge Marge
p.s. On an unrelated note, The Fabulous Dik Shuttle Lounge is the best band in south Florida. My compliments to The Big Bamboo. Luv you boys.
posted by the freakin hott at Wednesday, February 15, 2006
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