You Know What Time It Is
It's been a while. What the heck.
Words and/or that must be struck from the English language IMMEDIATELY:
1. "Basically" - Okay, it seems like a harmless enough word - BUT - it seems every time somebody wants to spend three hours telling you THE MOST BORING STORY YOU'VE EVER HEARD IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, it always starts with "Basically". Do you know what "basically" means? It means GET TO THE POINT, JACKASS.
2. "It's Pretty Much Definite" - Get a dictionary and look up the meaning of the word "Definite". When you put words like "pretty much" in front of "definite", IT NO LONGER MEANS DEFINITE, ASSFACE.
3. "They totally rock" - This particular phrase is only used when people describe the most un-rocking bands/people in the world. I recently heard someone say that Ashlee Simpson "totally rocks" and I spent the remainder of the evening barfing onto a pair of sequined moccasins that may or may not have belonged to Lindsey Lohan. It goes without saying that mine was not the only vomit present.
4. "Drop Trou" - This is the kind of phrase that your dad uses to fool himself into believing that he's still "hip" and "with it" but it really just makes you cringe when he says it in front of your friends at The Buzz Bake Sale while you're getting a temporary tattoo of Staind's logo on your ass. And you thought having to sit through Kid Rock's set would be the low point of the evening...
5. "Lovely Lady Lumps" - I'm actually holding myself back from putting my head through the computer screen right now just looking at that stupid term. About a year ago, late at night when everyone else had gone to sleep, I stared at the ceiling and tried to think of newer and better reasons to hate the Black Eyed Peas. Little did I know that "lovely lady lumps" were waiting for me on the other side of 2005 floating atop Fergie's pee-stained, orange man-bodied, Bret-Michaels-in-drag, water ballooned-chest.
I'll think of more later. Hold your water.
Maggie
Words and/or that must be struck from the English language IMMEDIATELY:
1. "Basically" - Okay, it seems like a harmless enough word - BUT - it seems every time somebody wants to spend three hours telling you THE MOST BORING STORY YOU'VE EVER HEARD IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, it always starts with "Basically". Do you know what "basically" means? It means GET TO THE POINT, JACKASS.
2. "It's Pretty Much Definite" - Get a dictionary and look up the meaning of the word "Definite". When you put words like "pretty much" in front of "definite", IT NO LONGER MEANS DEFINITE, ASSFACE.
3. "They totally rock" - This particular phrase is only used when people describe the most un-rocking bands/people in the world. I recently heard someone say that Ashlee Simpson "totally rocks" and I spent the remainder of the evening barfing onto a pair of sequined moccasins that may or may not have belonged to Lindsey Lohan. It goes without saying that mine was not the only vomit present.
4. "Drop Trou" - This is the kind of phrase that your dad uses to fool himself into believing that he's still "hip" and "with it" but it really just makes you cringe when he says it in front of your friends at The Buzz Bake Sale while you're getting a temporary tattoo of Staind's logo on your ass. And you thought having to sit through Kid Rock's set would be the low point of the evening...
5. "Lovely Lady Lumps" - I'm actually holding myself back from putting my head through the computer screen right now just looking at that stupid term. About a year ago, late at night when everyone else had gone to sleep, I stared at the ceiling and tried to think of newer and better reasons to hate the Black Eyed Peas. Little did I know that "lovely lady lumps" were waiting for me on the other side of 2005 floating atop Fergie's pee-stained, orange man-bodied, Bret-Michaels-in-drag, water ballooned-chest.
I'll think of more later. Hold your water.
Maggie
posted by the freakin hott at Wednesday, February 08, 2006
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