What A Blow

There's been so much good news lately, it was only a matter of time until the news turned sour. I'm sorry to announce that Paris Hilton has decided, once again, NOT to pose for Playboy magazine.

She insists, "I'll never do it," and offers this rock-solid reason why not: "Because I'm Paris Hilton."

This is devastating. How else are we ever going to find out what she looks like naked? I guess if she WEREN'T Paris Hilton, then maybe we'd have a chance of seeing a few dozen sex tapes of her with various D-List movie folk, pictures hacked from her Sidekick of her getting it on with everything but the kitchen sink, and an endless book of photos of her lifting her dress on red carpets and putting the laffy taffy right there on display like a pack of Bazooka but, alas, she IS Paris Hilton, so there's no chance anything like that could ever happen. Not in this lifetime, buddy.

City Link Music Festival. This Saturday. 6pm to 2am. Downtown Ft. Lauderdale. TFH goes on at 10.

Maggie