Dread the Fed

Are you aware that, up until this moment, you have never known true happiness? A tough pill to swallow, I'm sure, but the solution to your sad and pathetic existence lies in a little song called "PopoZão". Oh, you don't know what "PopoZão" is? Hello? It's so totally Kevin Federline's hot new single! Now guess what it's about? Government cheese? Nope! It's all about...wait for it...a girl with a big ass! I should so sue for royalties.

Do you honestly think I would share such a story without giving you actual quotes from "PopoZão"? "I want to see your kitty and a little bit of titty / Girls, don't you worry about all the dough, because a cat is coming straight out of the know / Bring that Brazil booty on the floor / Up, down, all around: Work that ass to the funky sound".

Ah yes. This man...knows sexy. I don't know which part I like best - the part where he rhymes "kitty" with "titty" or the part where he claims to have "dough". Either way, I think I actually became infertile after I read the lyrics and, I don't know how, but twenty bucks is missing from my wallet. I think I've been Federlined! It's either that or I was attacked by a baggy pantsed land shark in a 'do-rag. My purse is all covered in Cheetoh dust! Damn you, Federline! Damn you straight to the end of the unemployment line!!!!

Speaking of 'do rags and Cheetohs, The Freakin' Hott will be playing for Popscene at Dada this Saturday, the 14th, along with the incomparably endowed I Am Stereo. Free show! Get there at 11pm or else.

Maggie