Lacheyame on You!

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. The details on the "kinky" side of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson's marriage are already surfacing. I'm sure she was probably about as much fun in the sack as a damp mannequin, so it must have required a real effort to keep it interesting in the bedroom. Nick's quoted this week as saying, "Sometimes I did walk in her shoes. It was sort of a kinky thing we liked to get into." Oh to be a fly on the wall. I can only assume they played RuPaul's "Supermodel" the whole time while she beat him with a riding crop made of licorice.

I wonder if, even now, he realizes that she only used that as a means to delay him messing up her hair, and to force him into buying her new Manolo Blahnik's after he stretched hers all out.

When will you boys learn? There's a reason that Barbie dolls aren't anatomically correct. Because Barbie, like Jessica, has better things to do - like tend to her make-up, or "accidentally" rub her boobs against Johnny Knoxville a few hundred times. If you're looking for a REALLY good time, you'd be better off with a Sit and Spin, or maybe Jennifer Tilly. If you're looking for a REALLY, REALLY good time - come to Dada in Delray Beach this Saturday for The Freakin' Hott and I Am Stereo.

Maggie