A Paris Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand

"I just called her ugly and old and told her she was desperate and that she was trying to be famous." - Paris Hilton

I know what you're thinking - to whom was Ms. Hilton referring exactly? Has Future Paris travelled back in time to say this to Present Paris or has Past Paris travelled forward through time to say this to Present Paris or has Future Paris travelled back in time to tell Past Paris to warn Present Paris about Future Paris travelling back to have Past Paris relate this information to Present Paris before Present Paris becomes Past Paris? I'm sure whatever the case may be, the time machine was covered with rainbow Louis Vuitton upholstery, oiled with Astroglide, and reeked of ferret and chihuahua turds and Greek salad dressing...and you are FASCINATED.

As am I. Paris.

Maggie