It's A...Bag!

It is time to rejoice, for Rod Stewart has been breeding...again! You would have thought that the birth of Kimberley Stewart twenty-six years ago would have created an irreparable rift in the space-time continuum which would cosmically neuter the pineapple-coiffed one thereby returning order to an otherwise chaotic universe, but noooooo. That raspy bastard has gone on to spread his DNA five more times AFTER that bleached orangy abomination was born, including one just yesterday. If you look at Kimberley next to a chart demonstrating the Law of Diminishing Returns, then this new Spew of the Stew must look like an aardvark poking its head out of a buttery brown leather hobo-sack purse that's been Armor-Alled a few (hundred) too many times.

Which reminds me, Kimberley also called off her engagement this weekend, so if any of you single guys out there are interested in having a leaf rake with a sack of flour for a head for a girlfriend, her number is 1-800-FORCED-STERILIZATION or - for some pillow talk with Ol' Orange Britches - you can call 1-900-DAMP-GAUCHOS. Either way, that Nick and Jessica tarp is gonna come in handy all week long.

No shows till Moonfest, sassypants.

Maggie