Just Breathe

There is absolutely no reason to panic. Take deep breaths, and count down from ten to one. You may find it helpful to bite down on a towel, or perhaps even to shoot yourself with a few tranquilizer darts. Jessica and Nick...are over.

Don't get crazy, kids. Everything is going to be okay. We're still playing Moonfest on the 10th at 9:30PM on the main stage in front of Respectable's. Love Boat is still coming out on DVD in the next month or so. Life can go on, as I'm sure it will for Jessica, as she enters the Hollywood dating scene and becomes a drunken erotic handpuppet for the likes of Tom Sizemore and the guy who makes the "Girls Gone Wild" videos and eventually ends up pregnant by Corey Feldman while filming Meatballs 17. Nick, of course, will make the slow descent from judge in the Miss Teen USA pageant alongside Marilyn McCoo and David Evangelista into the world of bi-curious porn and end up becoming Scott Schwartz's spongy roommate in a tenement in Fresno until he takes over Willie Aames's roles as both Bibleman AND "Asshole Guy" on Celebrity Fat Farm.

That's the problem with fate folks - there's just no stopping it. Either way, they're both on runaway Swarovski crystal-bedazzled segways to hell. I'm just thankful that we all have a seat in the front row. Make sure you bring a tarp and some extra undies.

Maggie