Where There's a Willie, There's a Way

Oh no. Don't make me regret having gotten rid of my basic cable.

Turns out Willie Aames is going to be on the upcoming season of Celebrity Fat Farm. I love it when celebrities, or former celebrities I should say, can't figure out why they've put on so much weight since their respective hey-days. Now, I'm a bettin' girl, so I'm gonna have to put all my chips on one thing, Willie.

Remember those mountains of cocaine that you used to dive head-first into, do a little backstroke across, and make snow-angels in? Did you happen to notice the weight packing on around the time you ran out of money for your $2,000 a day coke habit?

This is one of the millions of reasons I've never done cocaine. Aside from the fear of becoming one of Rick James's bitches (which I guess isn't really a threat anymore) to having to have an assistant shoot it between my toes before a concert (Hello Stevie Nicks!) to getting horribly overweight once you kick the habit (a'la Willie, CC Deville, and Courtney Love) - it's just a bad idea.

So, kids, in the immortal words of the cast of Saved By The Bell - "There's no hope with dope."

And in the words of the GI Joe public service announcements - "Now you know. And knowing is half the battle. G....I.....Jooooooooooooooe!"

Don't even start with me. It's too early.

Mags