Too Coulier for School
I was recently feeling as though I needed to be punished, so I decided to read an interview with Alanis Morissette. She discussed many things that bored the crap out of me, but one thing did catch my attention.
Although she is currently engaged (or acting as a beard for) Ryan Reynolds, of the new Amityville Horror film as well as Blade Trinity, she still has some feminist reservations about being somebody's wife in this day and age. She then went on to say that she is happily in love with Reynolds, but because of the emotional damage she incurred in her prior relationships, she is wary of a committed relationship.
It seems that her first abomination, I mean, album Jagged Little Pill was inspired by her tumultuous relationship with Dave Coulier. Let me state that again. Dave Coulier. That's right. He took her heart and said "Cut...it...out." and made the corresponding hand signals Uncle-Joey-Style before he stomped on it.
I had heard rumors about this years ago, and I never believed them, but apparently Dave Coulier really is the heartbreakin' bastard referred to in "You Oughta Know". Let me state that once again for those of you who might have missed it. Dave Coulier. Heartbreakin' bastard son of a bitch Dave Coulier.
And guess what? Since her album sales since Jagged Little Pill have gone down faster than she used to on Dave in a theater, she's in the process of re-recording the entire album as an all acoustic dealie-job. So now she has to re-live all of those painful, horrible memories of getting dicked over by that sly, sexy bad-ass gigolo-mofo, Dave Coulier. That's right. Dave Coulier.
Every now and then I feel sorry for myself because I have no money, or hate my day-job, etc., but at least I can say I never got the screws put to me by Uncle Joey. And there's nothing you, or anyone else on this planet (besides Dave Coulier) can do to change that, so you can just put that inside your Full House camera crew bomber jacket and zip it.
And if Dave Coulier wanted a VIP pass to our show at Alligator Alley this Friday, he'd be the second on the list...AFTER Bob Saget.
Maggie
Although she is currently engaged (or acting as a beard for) Ryan Reynolds, of the new Amityville Horror film as well as Blade Trinity, she still has some feminist reservations about being somebody's wife in this day and age. She then went on to say that she is happily in love with Reynolds, but because of the emotional damage she incurred in her prior relationships, she is wary of a committed relationship.
It seems that her first abomination, I mean, album Jagged Little Pill was inspired by her tumultuous relationship with Dave Coulier. Let me state that again. Dave Coulier. That's right. He took her heart and said "Cut...it...out." and made the corresponding hand signals Uncle-Joey-Style before he stomped on it.
I had heard rumors about this years ago, and I never believed them, but apparently Dave Coulier really is the heartbreakin' bastard referred to in "You Oughta Know". Let me state that once again for those of you who might have missed it. Dave Coulier. Heartbreakin' bastard son of a bitch Dave Coulier.
And guess what? Since her album sales since Jagged Little Pill have gone down faster than she used to on Dave in a theater, she's in the process of re-recording the entire album as an all acoustic dealie-job. So now she has to re-live all of those painful, horrible memories of getting dicked over by that sly, sexy bad-ass gigolo-mofo, Dave Coulier. That's right. Dave Coulier.
Every now and then I feel sorry for myself because I have no money, or hate my day-job, etc., but at least I can say I never got the screws put to me by Uncle Joey. And there's nothing you, or anyone else on this planet (besides Dave Coulier) can do to change that, so you can just put that inside your Full House camera crew bomber jacket and zip it.
And if Dave Coulier wanted a VIP pass to our show at Alligator Alley this Friday, he'd be the second on the list...AFTER Bob Saget.
Maggie
posted by the freakin hott at Monday, June 13, 2005
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