Lessons Learned by Bronson Pinchot

You have to love it when you've got something along the lines of a huge zit on your nose, a bad haircut, or a giant tomato bisque stain on the front of your white shirt - because that's when you find the genius in the crowd. You know, the one who walks up to you and says, "Do you know you have a huge zit on your nose?" or "Wow - did you cut your own hair this time? It looks really bad!", etc. You also know that every time this happens, you take the high road by NOT asking said genius if they knew that they were an idiot. Well those days are over.

The Flamingo Kid has taught me many lessons over the years, but the best lesson of all was between Bronson Pinchot's character and a pleasantly gap-toothed girl he was fixed up with on a blind date. Bronson says, "Do you know you have a really big space between your teeth?" and the girl responds, "Do you know you have a big f'in nose?".

Touche'.

So I feel it's only fair to warn you that, after the empowerment this memory provided me, it's now open season on all of you "Do you know that you...?" people. If you feel compelled to ask me if I'm aware that I:

1. Look like I'm retaining water.
2. Would look way better with my natural blonde hair.
3. Would look fabulous with huge fake boobies.
4. Have dark circles under my eyes.
5. Need to do some sit-ups.

I will find every single flaw that you have and stuff it down your throat until you beg for mercy.

Don't forget - The Freakin' Hott - this Wednesday at the Sound Advice Amphitheater with The Black Crowes and Tom Petty. Now if Tom wants to tell me that my face looks a little shiny, I'll take it and keep my trap shut. If you're not Tom, you better check yo'self.

Magsie