Peace on Earth and Goodwill to Schizophrenics
As you might imagine, I spend a great deal of time at the local Goodwill stores. There are few things that make me as happy as finding a late 50's party dress with a working metal zipper for $5.99, vintage nylon stockings still in the package from Lord & Taylor in 1962, or a t-shirt that simply says "Party Naked" circa 1984.
While my love of the classics drives me to Goodwill every weekend, I will tell you what drives me out: Nutjobs. Scads of them. Walking up and down the aisles, running up beside you as you're reaching for an item and grabbing it out of your hand only to drop it on the next aisle, asking you if you want to dance to the Lionel Richie tune that's playing on the store radio, ramming their shopping carts up your ass and then when you turn around they give you a dirty look while glaring at your hair and asking if that's your REAL haircolor, bringing an entire cart full of a thousand random items to the register and then trying to haggle over prices with the cashier and then leaving the entire cart at the register and walking out when they don't get their way. And don't even get me started on the children. Goodwill is not a playground for your demon spawn.
I wonder what it is about Goodwill that they tolerate this behavior in their stores? Can you imagine going into Nordstrom and seeing this kind of crap happening?
I'm not just here to complain this time. This time I have a solution. Get rid of the shopping carts. I think the masses think that the rules are different in a store if you're provided with a shopping cart. It turns any nice little establishment into a Sodom and Gamorrah for the mentally unstable. Think about the grocery store - wall-to-wall freakshow. Wal-Mart? Hello Haldol!
If I had any kind of drive or ambition, I would start a petition drive or just start stealing the damn carts, but as it is, I have a previous engagement scheduled with these cuticles and chipped nails. I'm not a monster, for crying out loud.
No shows until next Saturday for the Popscene Two Year Anniversary shindig at Dada, but I'm sure I'll find something else to be angry about, so you'll hear from me before then. In the meantime, make it count.
Maggie
While my love of the classics drives me to Goodwill every weekend, I will tell you what drives me out: Nutjobs. Scads of them. Walking up and down the aisles, running up beside you as you're reaching for an item and grabbing it out of your hand only to drop it on the next aisle, asking you if you want to dance to the Lionel Richie tune that's playing on the store radio, ramming their shopping carts up your ass and then when you turn around they give you a dirty look while glaring at your hair and asking if that's your REAL haircolor, bringing an entire cart full of a thousand random items to the register and then trying to haggle over prices with the cashier and then leaving the entire cart at the register and walking out when they don't get their way. And don't even get me started on the children. Goodwill is not a playground for your demon spawn.
I wonder what it is about Goodwill that they tolerate this behavior in their stores? Can you imagine going into Nordstrom and seeing this kind of crap happening?
I'm not just here to complain this time. This time I have a solution. Get rid of the shopping carts. I think the masses think that the rules are different in a store if you're provided with a shopping cart. It turns any nice little establishment into a Sodom and Gamorrah for the mentally unstable. Think about the grocery store - wall-to-wall freakshow. Wal-Mart? Hello Haldol!
If I had any kind of drive or ambition, I would start a petition drive or just start stealing the damn carts, but as it is, I have a previous engagement scheduled with these cuticles and chipped nails. I'm not a monster, for crying out loud.
No shows until next Saturday for the Popscene Two Year Anniversary shindig at Dada, but I'm sure I'll find something else to be angry about, so you'll hear from me before then. In the meantime, make it count.
Maggie
posted by the freakin hott at Saturday, June 18, 2005
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