Here We Go Again

No shows this weekend - but keep an eye out for the weekend of the 16th and 17th - more details to come. Here's a survey to hold you over:



Do you straighten your hair everyday?
I used to, then I found out that Nick Lachey actually likes curly hair, so I killed Andie McDowell and glued her scalp to my head. Now Nick thinks I'm almost tolerable to look at. Score!


Do you worry about the size of your boobs?
Not really "worry" so much as lay curled in a fetal position and cry 23 and a half hours a day about it. Then I spend the remaining half hour trying on padded bras and making martinis for my man.

What's your favorite girly magazine?:
Popular Low Self-Esteems

Would you kill for chocolate?
That would be silly. Unless you have some.

Jeans or skirts?
You'll have to ask my father what's appropriate for me to wear. I'm unmarried so I don't have a husband to pick out my clothes.

Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable?
I actually wear underwear that's made of that pink fiberglass insulation, but you get used to it after a while. What can I say?! I'm a girly-girl!

Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
Both. I spent all day getting pretty for Richard Marx, and all night getting ready for God to punish me for fornicating with a Repeat Offender. I guarantee nobody until 35, or anyone with decent taste in music for that matter, will get that one.

Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?:
Didn't everyone cry at the end of Epic Movie?

Would you leave the house without makeup on?
I would rather have hooks inserted into my back and be dragged behind the Orient Express while Five for Fighting serenades me from the caboose with that "I'm more than some pretty face beside a train" piece of shit song.

On a scale of 1-10, how fun is shopping?:
Not as much fun as taking on the Moroccan fire-eaters and contortionists at Epcot Center.

Are you a girly-girl, tomboy, or in the middle?
Definitely a girly-girl. I feel very poorly about my physique, and I'm not very smart, but apparently I give a really mean HJ if you're really drunk. I'm not without my talents.

Do you think lipgloss is the best?:
It's actually better than love, and only slightly more sticky. And it's WAY better than that cousin who hugs you just so he can be pressed up against your boobs.

Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show?
I don't freak out about anything - ever. Unless it's the season premiere of My Super Sweet 16, then I would systematically kill the whole town.

Do you obsess over your looks?
That would be silly. I let MEN obsess over my looks, and then I make surgical changes based on their input.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
It's a pretty long walk from Tom Wopat's house back to my place, so I have to do the whole sports-bra and running shoes thing, so about thirty minutes or so.

Accessories make the outfit; true or false:
I shop at Wal-Mart, so technically the Indonesian children make the outfit.

Would you rather get flowers at school or home?
I'd rather get them at the florist. They probably have a better selection than a school, and I already know I don't have any kind of selection at home.

Are you a sucker for skater guys?:
This one is actually too easy. I could never respect myself if I answered it.

Is pink truely the best color in the entire universe?:
Yes, because I've deemed it so. Hello?! I'm ME! And if I like something, then I must be right. Because I'm me.

who is your fav. Beverly HIlls 90210 character?
The condom that Dylan and Brenda used on Prom Night.

status?
The condom? Used? You're really stupid. We should be friends, because I'm not intimidated by you.

Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
I dated this one guy for six months and I was dressed as Ryan Philippe the whole time. He was way impressed...until the pants came off. That was, yet another, long walk home.

Do you often wish there was something you could change about yourself?
I suppose I would change everything. That seems like a popular, and healthy, answer. What do you think I am, conceited?

Do you write a lot of mushy love poems?:
Sure - here's one now:

Love is like a beautiful flower

Or a Nick Lachey golden shower

I like that song "All Along the Watchtower"

But Nick doesn't like it, so now I don't like it either



On a scale of 1-10, how much do guys confuse you?
Not enough to make me stop constantly trying to please them by pretending to be an idiot.

Do you worry/fuss about your weight?
Only when it's important, like when you're watching Deal or No Deal with your boyfriend, and those model chicks come on, and he looks at them and says, "Hey fatass, why don't you look like any of those model chicks? You should spend more time hustling up my laundry and less time hustling up Dunkin' Donuts munchkins, then maybe I could stand your physical appearance long enough to tell you that if you don't let me put it in your butt I'm going to get it somewhere else, like from your best friend Tina, she's got a hot ass." Otherwise, I don't think much about it.

What makeup could you NOT live without??
Pore spackle.

Maggie