Waiter, There's a Love Gun in My Latte!

I woke up this morning and said to myself, "You know what I need to start the day right? No, no, no - I don't just need coffee. Coffee is so yesterday it's not even funny LOL!!!!! I need something I can identify with. Something that speaks to my lifestyle and devil-may-care musical preferences. I don't want grandpa's morning beverage, I want ROCK 'N ROLL COFFEE, MOTHERF*CKER!!!!! (insert shreddery here)"

Thankfully I had twelve hours or so to drive to Myrtle Beach, SC to go to the grand opening of the KISS Coffeehouse where I had to painstakingly choose between a KISS Frozen ROCKaccino and a KISS Demon Dark Roast. I briefly considered getting a sprinkle of SIMMONSmon on top of my ROCKaccino, but thought better of it when I read the ingredients and saw that it contained traces of syphilis and REAL sugar! Hello? Have these people heard of The South Beach Diet?!!! Then I threw caution to the wind and ate a KISS Rip Screaming Diarrhea Bran MOFO-in AND a Hot CRISS bun and excused myself to the VOLCANIC ROCK LAVAtory and, well, YOU know. I awaited my Frehley's Comet with anticipation and stared up at the "Paul Stanley Exhaust Fanley" while I, like many others before me, paid the gastro-intestinal price for rocking and rolling all night, not to mention partying all day.

Maggie