Cuts Like A Knife

Finally, a celebrity news story that MAKES SENSE. It has been reported that Lindsay Lohan was rushed off to yet another hospital last Friday, January 27th. This time she "cut herself". None of this is extraordinary, however, I feel the need to point out that she was staying at Bryan Adams's London home at the time. What?

Apparently, Bryan Adams - YES - Bryan Adams and Lindsay Lohan have become fast friends. Makes sense. They're both ... hmm ... hmm ... hmm ...alright, you got me. I can't think of a single thing those two have in common. I had somebody say, "They're both singers!", but then I laughed so hard that the ensuing wind of snickering that I expelled knocked down the entire state of Florida and most of southern Georgia. Even the King Frog!

I guess maybe he reminds her of her dad, or maybe Balmudo from Grease and Grease 2, or perhaps he has a soft spot in his heart and a hard spot in his pants for 19 year old girls with daddy issues. It's the not-knowing that really ties my turnip.

Maggie

Come see The Freakin' Hott and I Am Balmudo at The Poorhouse in Ft. Lauderdale this Friday. No cover, 21 and up, first band will go on around 11.