You Make Me Feel Like Sting Has Stung

Crime is a problem in this country. A big problem. That's why the New York City Police Department put together a "sting" operation this past week to nab some sick, twisted creeps who were preying the innocent and underprivileged. It seems these two lowlife individuals stole Marc Anthony's laptop computer, which happened to contain the video of he and Jennifer Lopez's wedding in 2004, and attempted to extort one million dollars from Mr. and Mrs. Anthony in exchange for the safe return of the computer. A police task force was immediately put together to take these scumbags down. Thank goodness there isn't any REALLY serious crime to deal with in New York City. Murders, rapes, and robberies haven't been popular there in YEARS. They're as out of fashion as Kathy Hilton in a mesh polo shirt trying to defend Paris for deep-throating the entire population of Manhattan.

So, the dastardly wedding video extortionists were nabbed, and J.Lo celebrated by anally electrocuting a mink for a new set of false eyelashes. A fine day was had by all...except maybe for the mink. But it was giving her dirty looks all day long from the inside of its metal box, so I guess it had it coming.

Stay tuned for the Bitter Bitch 2005 Wrap-Up, and our January touring schedule. Just stare at the screen and wait for it.

Maggie