The Best You Can Expect

If you follow the world of hip-hop as I do, then you already know about the stabbings that occurred in NYC at the Notorious B.I.G. compilation release party yesterday. I shared the story with the focus group we keep on staff here at TFH Enterprises, and they said that they just weren't that surprised by the incident, given the tension of the situation surrounding Biggie's untimely demise. It got me to thinking about what people expect from events, based on the musician or group around which the event is centered, and I have assembled my findings below:

1. It is widely accepted that while attending a Good Charlotte show, you will be impaled on thousands of tiny little rubber spikes from the wrists of Hot Topic clearance rack shoppers and later die from pink eye.

2. At a Yanni concert, you can expect to be impregnated by the end of the night by a guy named either "Stavros", "Van", or "Van Stavros".

3. At an Alanis Morrisette concert, you can expect to be reminded of that night you met up with Dave Coulier at the commissary at UCSF and gave him your virginity in exchange for a cappuccino that ended up being lukewarm anyway.

4. At a Coldplay concert, you can expect to see a lot of people wearing beige.

5. At a Lenny Kravitz concert, you can expect to question your motives for purchasing a $300 ticket while he "jams" for an hour with his ego, his guitar, and a box of incense.

6. At The Freakin' Hott show on December 28th at The Marlin Hotel in South Beach, you can expect to dry-hump the barstool of your choice, lose a bet to me involving the cast of The Breakfast Club, rock the house, be the ball, shake it out, woggle the polly, bend over, and say your prayers...and not necessarily in that order.

Maggie