The Peeing Calvin vs Truck Balls

I have never quite understood the drive that makes people put ridiculous crap on their cars and trucks, but the "custom" sticker I saw on the back of a Ford Excursion today takes the urinal cake. Soccer mom - complete with matching sweater set, truckload of elementary school-aged children, and a big ol' banner sticker across the entire back windshield reading "Dat Bitch U Hate". I am not kidding.

I don't really think any further comment needs to be made on that one, so I'll move along to "truck balls". Apparently, no truck can be complete without a big plastic set of testicles dangling off the rear bumper. Why don't we just take our fun little return to 70's machismo a step further and shape the tailpipes into penises? Wait - I've got it. How about one of those stickers of Calvin peeing onto a Chevy logo or Jeff Gordon's face or something with ACTUAL urine coming out of it?!

Let's move on to memorial stickers. I am truly very sorry that you lost a loved one. It's the worst thing that any human being can go through, and my condolences are with you and your family. Here's the thing: Generally, a memorial is dedicated in the form of a headstone, a statue, a park, etc. Why are you dedicating your back windshield to the memory of your loved one? Am I the only one who thinks that's peculiar?

Finally, let's visit the "Bad Ass Boys Drive Bad Ass Toys" bumper sticker. Gentlemen...we're all very impressed that you are both a bad boy, and able to get a loan at CarMax, but I could have easily figured that out without the sticker. Your Larry the Cable Guy t-shirt provides a wealth of insight into what you're all about. You think Adam Carolla is a genius.

Maggie