The Ten Days 'til The Freakin' Hott Show

Next show will be November 19th at Dada. Here's what you need to do between now and that date:

1. Move out of your parents' garage.

2. Pee-pee on the potty like a big boy/girl!

3. Throw out your Cherokee stretch pants from JByrons. They're not helping anyone.

4. Have that "thing" lanced that's hanging off of your body.

5. Buy me gifts including, but not limited to, shoes I can't afford on my own, advance copies of The Love Boat on DVD, and a dirt bike.

6. Take a freakin' shower for maude's sake. I can smell you from here.

7. Shimmy into something sexy, Miss Ty Doll. (That's the easiest one on this list.)

8. Warm up your boo-tay so you don't fall and break a hip while shakin' it. Some of you are pretty old, and need to be concerned about your medicare deductible. I'm not naming any names, BANDITO.

9. Would you shut up and let me talk? Sheesh!

10. Be the ball.

Maggie