Hunka Hunka Burnin' Mandals

You know, you go to see your favorite local Elvis impersonator, who also happens to be the only local Elvis impersonator, and you expect to see and hear "Viva Las Vegas", "Hound Dog", and even "Little Sister". What you don't expect is to have a crowd almost entirely composed of men wearing sandals.

I know, I know. You're saying, "But we live in Florida! It's hot! And, by the way, did I mention that you look AMAZING in that dress, Maggie?!"

Flatter me all you want, I'm not letting the sandals go this time. I can't think of any reason that a man's toes need to be on display in public. There is a reason women don't have foot fetishes for men, you know. The words "ugly" and "smelly" come immediately to mind.

I have, however, devised a list of exceptions for a man to wear sandals in a social setting:

1. The man in question is German.

That's it.

No shows this weekend. Put on some damn shoes, hippie.

Maggie