Jackboot: A Laceless Boot That Stops Below The Knee

Stop wide-rolling your jeans up to the middle of your calf with your jackboots. Of the 100 people I have seen attempting this look, approximately 1.725 of them actually pulled it off. The rest of them looked like whore-pirates.

Now, don't get me wrong, everyone needs to be a whore-pirate every now and then. That particular look has served a purpose over the ages, like when Cher had to resuscitate her career by rolling around on that Navy Destroyer in "If I Could Turn Back Time", or when Jessica Simpson needed to out-do that damned Lindsay Lohan on the red carpet at the VMA's, or when I needed to drum up some publicity for the band during Fleet Week. It's quite another thing, however, to have your eyes assaulted by hundreds of whore-pirates swarming around downtown on a Saturday night, so knock it off.

Show tonight at Churchill's - don't miss it, you jackbooted harpie.

Maggie