Sex, Lies, and Videotape

So when you come to Churchill's for the big rock 'n roll show (featuring The Freakin' Hott, Charlie Pickett, and The Remnants) this Friday, we can talk about the rumor that there is now a Britney Spears sex tape that is about to be released. We can discuss how you can see pretty much the same thing if you rent "The Beaverly Hillbillies" - and without that unpleasant Federline Funk Factor. We can discuss how bored we are with blonde celebrity sex tapes. We can discuss own our private stashes of Bea Arthur and Adrienne Barbeau sex tapes. We can share...laugh...love. And then you can try to trade tapes with me, and I will laugh some more, and then I will knock you down and steal all of your tapes, and then you will cry, people will laugh, you'll pee your pants, I'll videotape it, wait until you're a celebrity, and sell it on the internet in the "Celebrity Watersports" section of Mr. Skin.

What do you think about that?

That's what I thought.

Maggie