The Scent of Skank

The year was 1988. The singer was Debbie Gibson. The name of the song was "Electric Youth", as was the perfume. Easy to save a week or two's allowance to purchase, at a mere $9.99 per bottle. Slightly more expensive than Love's Baby Soft, but so much more sophisticated a scent. Not a gal in seventh grade was to be smelled without it...until Exclamation! came out and tossed "Electric Youth" out on its stretch-denim ass, but that's neither here nor there.

The year is now 2005. The singer is Britney Spears. The name of the perfume is "Curious". The price? $49.50 a bottle.

$49.50? Why, I'm finding myself more curious by the minute! First, your market is teen skanks-in-training, so $49.50 is a bit steep. Second, who the hark wants to pay $49.50 to smell like Britney Spears? Can you even imagine the melange of chihuahua turds, Federline enzymes, and stale Cheetos that wafts through the air when she strolls by? I would be willing to pay $49.50 to NOT smell like Miss Brit. Where do I send my check?

On a related note, keep your eyes peeled for the new scent coming soon from The Freakin' Hott. "Pretentious" will be available at all major department stores, and is $599.00 per ounce. Financing is available for those who are good looking.

Maggie