Destiny Mintifest

The problem with modern-day mints, is that they're simply not "extreme" enough. I want a mint that's so "extreme" that it makes gums bleed when I look at the package. I want a mint that's so "extreme" that when I see a commercial for it my tongue begins to disintegrate instantly. I want a mint that's so "extreme" that it can be used as an interrogative device against enemy combatants. I want a mint that's so "extreme" that its mere existence in 2005 will make my future great-great-great grandchildren cry minty tears of refreshment.

Maggie