Girls Gone REALLY Wild

Joe Francis, the "Girls Gone Wild" guy, was punched in the face by an unidentified woman over the weekend at a Hollywood nightclub. I was really hoping that I was the one who did it, but it turns out I was nowhere near California this past weekend. Had it actually been me, I wouldn't have gone for something as easy as a punch in the face though. I would have constructed something similar to the "Mouse Trap" board game, only instead of having a plastic net fall down over him, I would have a pair of robotic hands pull his pants down and snap a picture while a gigantic steel boot kicked him in the jimmies. Then I would have an army of amateur strippers on roofies bludgeon him with their big fake knockers, making it the most poetically-justified ironic beat-down ever. I would, of course, film it the whole time so I could sell it on TV as "Girls Gone REALLY Wild - The Extreme Testicle Makeover Edition".

Either that or I would make him sit on a toilet seat that had been recently used by Paris Hilton. I don't know about that, though. That's pretty mean.

Maggie