Remain Calm! Those Boobs are REAL!

I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I've spent. How many days I've spent wandering aimlessly about. How many forkfuls of chicken pot pie I had to put down because I was so torn up inside that I was too nauseated to eat. How many bad poems I've written, how many letters I've written that I'll never send. How many times I've watched the episode of The Brady Bunch where Marcia gets hit in the nose by the football and I couldn't even muster up a little laugh. Not one. All this time I've spent. And all of it is because I couldn't stop wondering if Tyra Banks's boobs were real or not.

Thank the booby stars she finally quenched the curiosity of my booby thirst on her new talk show this week, BY HAVING A SONOGRAM ON HER BOOBS to show that there were, in fact, no implants swimming around in there.

I can finally rest easy now. I can live life again, for the first time in a very long time.

It feels good to be the old me.

Maggie