Teen (Burning) Sensations

Ah, the Teen Choice Awards.

For the love of Mike, this had to be the most disturbing thing Aaron and I had seen in years. Just the fact that talentless, stupid, shallow, and - oh yeah - amateur porn star Paris Hilton was applauded about every ten seconds by thousands of screaming thirteen year old girls made me want to move to a third world country and live in a hut. Then "Desperate Housewives" won a Teen Choice Award, further sealing my decision that I would rather rinse my clothes out in a river and beat them on a rock, wrestle a wild boar to the death for my dinner, and sleep with tsetse flies all over my body every night than be a part of this particular moment in pop culture.

I say we force all of these crappy celebrities out and put marathons of Full House and Saved by The Bell on every channel until we feel clean again.

And, yes, I am an old lady. You don't have to say it.

No shows this weekend - go to confession.

Mags