A Shameless Birthday Reminder
There are few things that I love more than making lists, which I'm sure most of you know if you're reading this site, so for those of you who are still trying to figure out what to buy me for my birthday (which is May 4th for those of you who don't have a Days-of-The-Week Maggie calendar that highlights all of the important moments in my life, such as the first time I took the state championship in baton twirling, or the day I realized that Esther Rolle Blvd. was in Pompano Beach, or that time I took on Cambodia and single-handedly defeated communism wearing nothing but a Goody tortoise-shell hairband, an off-the-shoulder lavender top, and a pair of Cherokee stretch denim capri pants) here is a list of items that will win me over and make me yours forever, or will at least make me tolerate you for five minutes until someone gives me a better gift:
1. A lifetime supply of well-fitting underbritches (apparently all women's underbritches these days are made for women who have NO ASS - again, I blame Paris Hilton).
2. A glass of chocolate milk served at 34 degrees with a slight froth on top and a red and yellow vertically-striped plastic bendy straw sticking out of it at a 68 degree angle.
3. The admiration of Anson Williams
4. Fame and Fortune - that is to say the movie "Fame" on DVD and a subscription to Soldier of Fortune magazine.
5. Disregard #4. I'd rather have season one of the Golden Girls on DVD, and a subscription to Sassy magazine, which is no longer in print, so you'll have to start a publishing company.
6. Anything with glitter on it, in it, or around it; including fishing lures, lipgloss, and Mariah Carey's smash feature film "Glitter".
7. A smorgasbord served atop the hairy chest of David Hasselhoff (again).
8. Large amounts of cash AND prizes. No parting gifts, please.
And make sure you head out to see us with Orlando band Libyan Hitsquad at The Poorhouse this Friday. It's always a great time at The Poorhouse, and I swear that has nothing to do with my leanings toward being surrounded by rockabilly boys.
Maggie
1. A lifetime supply of well-fitting underbritches (apparently all women's underbritches these days are made for women who have NO ASS - again, I blame Paris Hilton).
2. A glass of chocolate milk served at 34 degrees with a slight froth on top and a red and yellow vertically-striped plastic bendy straw sticking out of it at a 68 degree angle.
3. The admiration of Anson Williams
4. Fame and Fortune - that is to say the movie "Fame" on DVD and a subscription to Soldier of Fortune magazine.
5. Disregard #4. I'd rather have season one of the Golden Girls on DVD, and a subscription to Sassy magazine, which is no longer in print, so you'll have to start a publishing company.
6. Anything with glitter on it, in it, or around it; including fishing lures, lipgloss, and Mariah Carey's smash feature film "Glitter".
7. A smorgasbord served atop the hairy chest of David Hasselhoff (again).
8. Large amounts of cash AND prizes. No parting gifts, please.
And make sure you head out to see us with Orlando band Libyan Hitsquad at The Poorhouse this Friday. It's always a great time at The Poorhouse, and I swear that has nothing to do with my leanings toward being surrounded by rockabilly boys.
Maggie
posted by the freakin hott at Tuesday, April 26, 2005
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